“My childhood crush says I talk too dirty to be a real girl.”
“He told me to take notes from his precious Bella—sweet, quiet, soft-spoken.”
But Bella? She just stared at my lips like she wanted to kiss me.
“I heard you talk so much you could make a mute kid speak,” she said.
Then she offered me a thousand bucks every time her autistic brother says a word to me. Real money. Cash per syllable.
Bella clearly had no idea what kind of menace she just hired.
I strutted straight to the back of the classroom and tapped on the desk of the silent, gloomy boy sitting there.
“Gonna explain to everyone how you licked my foot last night while I was asleep?”
His eyes shot open, like a damn earthquake just cracked his icy face. “I didn’t.”
I turned and flashed Bella my best grin. “Pay up.”
The moment those words left my mouth, the entire classroom went dead silent.
Finn Quinn—the school’s resident ice cube—just stared, frozen.
“I didn’t,” he repeated, voice flat as hell.
Bella was at my side in two seconds flat, not even mad. Her eyes? Full-blown worship.
Next thing I know, she’s Venmoing me a stack, hands trembling.
“Please,” she said, clinging to my arm like I was Jesus with tits. “You’re the only hope left. Help my brother.”
She told me her parents had dragged Finn to therapists across three states, and all of them said the same thing: he needed a peer to show him life didn’t have to suck.
Problem? Finn hated people. Like, truly hated them.
No one in their right mind would babysit a silent rage baby for free. Except me. Especially for a thousand dollars a word.
She gripped my hands like I was her last hope. And damn, I stared at that money like I just met my sugar angel.
Harassing someone for cash? Baby, that’s my entire personality.
Every teacher I’ve ever had called me a reincarnated housefly. Couldn’t shut me up.
In elementary school, they sat me next to a deaf kid just to make me shut up—and I learned sign language just to keep annoying people.
I once signed so fast under the table it looked like Naruto hand seals.
By middle school, even my teachers asked my mom to get me checked out—said I could have a full-on convo with a stray dog.
Finn? He was the prettiest challenge I’d ever seen.
He’d only said three words, then buried his head again like he regretted every molecule of sound he made.
That’s when Jason Young—my childhood crush and the walking definition of irrelevant—stormed over.
He saw me take Bella’s money and snatched at my phone. “Riley, maybe you should focus on school instead of hanging out with trash like him.”
Oh? Didn’t you just call her a goddess like ten minutes ago?
Bella’s eyes went cold. “Excuse me? Who are you calling trash?”
Jason stammered like a fish gasping for air.
I yanked my arm away and rolled my eyes. God, how did I ever crush on this wet napkin?
The bell rang before he could whine some more, and I bounced back to my seat like nothing happened.
By the end of the day, Bella had used her Money Princess Powers to get me transferred to sit right next to Finn.
“Miss Rowe, my brother’s not here to study. He’s here to make friends. Riley’s perfect for the job,” she told the teacher with a straight face. “Also, it’s getting hot. Maybe we install some AC?”
Teacher shut right up.
I moved over to Finn’s desk. He was pretending to sleep, and Jason was staring at me like he wanted me to combust on the spot.
I just stared at Finn’s pale-ass neck the whole class.
Dude was clearly awake—just refusing to acknowledge me. Cute.
Between classes, I leaned close to Finn and whispered, “Your neck’s so white it looks like a chicken nugget. I kinda wanna bite it…”
He flinched so hard you’d think I pulled a gun.
I snapped a photo of his startled face and sent it straight to Bella. “This is your mute brother? He’s got more facial expressions than me.”
But man, was he hard to crack.
Whole day I talked till my throat was dry and he just sat there like a statue.
Still, I was having a blast. Nobody had ever let me talk this much without calling me a dumb bitch.
Even if I didn’t get paid, I found my soulmate.
When class ended, I watched Finn gently close his textbook with his freakishly elegant fingers.
I snorted. “You were faking the whole time, weren’t you? That blank stare during English? Nice performance.”
He stiffened and walked off.
I chased after him—Bella had said their driver would take me home today.
Then suddenly, someone yanked my backpack so hard I nearly choked.
Jason. Again.
“You seriously can’t tell he doesn’t want you around? Riley, you’re a girl. Have some shame.”
That was it. Twice in one day.
I may have been in love with him for years, but I wasn’t about to let him insult me again.
I swung my backpack right into his face.
Jason looked stunned. I was fuming.
“I flirt with you, I’m shameless. I flirt with someone else, I’m still shameless. Maybe you’re just an asshole, Jason.”
“This morning you said I was disgusting for making dirty jokes. But you used to laugh at them every single day on the way home. You were obsessed!”
“I stayed up learning raunchy jokes for you, like I was studying for the damn SATs!”
“And what did I get? The title of Dirtiest Simp in School.”
Done. I was done.
I shoved past him and jogged after Finn. “Why didn’t you wait for me?” I asked.
Of course he didn’t answer.
I turned toward the gas station down the street. “Stand right here. Don’t move.”
He actually listened. Just stood there like a lost puppy.
I walked a full circle around him. “Stay put or I’ll tell your sister you tried to kiss me.”
He blinked at me, confused but obedient.
When I came out with popsicles, he was still there, standing by the trash bin like a polite ghost.
Goddamn. I thought I liked sunshine boys like Jason.
Why is this gloomy little dog so cute?
Am I into types or just plain horny?
I handed Finn a popsicle.
He didn’t take it. It dropped right on the sidewalk with a splat.
He kept walking. I picked it up and shoved another one in his hand.
Again—plop.
This little shit.
I stormed up, grabbed his collar. He flinched and stumbled back, eyes wide.
I grinned and held out the popsicle again.
This time, he took it.
We walked side by side, and he just held it like it was a cursed object.
I leaned in again. “Don’t be shy. I won’t tell anyone your boxers are pink…”
He snapped the popsicle in half and shoved it in his mouth like it was a weapon.
People really do fake being busy when they’re embarrassed.
When there’s water, they drink. When there’s ice cream, they gnaw.
I watched him awkwardly lick at the thing, giggling to myself.
“You know popsicles are great for cooling down. Especially if you shove them up—”
He stopped. Just stood there, popsicle melting in his hand, lips red from the cold, staring at me like I was the devil.
I winced. Okay. That was gross, even by my standards.
“I mean—”
“Pig.”
I froze.
Then lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Yes! It was pigskin! That’s what I meant!”
“Finn!! You watch those weird low-budget TikToks too?!”
So he’s not just a silent prince—he’s a full-blown meme kid.
I just met my soulmate.
Finn’s pupils twitched like I just told him aliens were real. My lie about his stomachache must’ve hit him like a truck.
The music teacher waved us off, probably thrilled to get rid of me for once. I was a tone-deaf nightmare, and Finn? Teacher’s pet.
Dragging him out of the classroom felt like pulling a granite statue by the wrist. He didn’t resist, just followed silently.
As we passed the front window, I caught Jason Young’s moody glare like he was watching a horror film.
“Finn, you never skipped class before, huh?” I asked as I peeled his hand off mine.
His palm was warm. I slipped my own hand right into his without asking.
He didn’t pull away.
We snuck through the side alley behind the school and made a beeline for my favorite diner. The place smelled like heaven and grease. Ms. Grace Foster, the owner, grinned at me.
“Cutting class again, Rowe?”
“With a friend this time,” I chirped. “Gotta show the new guy the good life.”
Finn’s breath hitched. He tried to slap a hand over my mouth, clearly horrified. I swatted him away, giggling. The kid was adorable.
He was made for me, I swear to God.
I split the noodles into two bowls. “Half and half. That way our love won’t die.”
He frowned at the bowl, then handed me his phone. A note read: “I can pay. We can get two.”
Rich boy manners. He thought I was too poor to afford food. Cute.
I snatched his phone and shamelessly added myself on his contacts.
He paused for a second, but didn’t stop me.
He ate like a prince—slow, precise, silent. A fucking $3 bowl of noodles and he looked like he was in a five-star French place.
When we finished, I wiped my mouth, grabbed his hand, and ran.
He stumbled after me like a confused puppy. By the time we hit the corner, he was breathless and beaming. His eyes sparkled like he just robbed a bank.
“We can’t just dine and dash,” he whispered.
“We already did, babe,” I grinned.
He didn’t smile. Just stared at me, all exasperated and noble. Like I’d wounded his soul.
“Fine. We’ll go back. But you gotta tell the owner we’re here to pay.”
He stood in the alley, frozen. Five full minutes of moral dilemma later, he took my hand again and walked us back.
Ms. Foster was wiping down a table when we returned.
I nudged him. “Go on.”
His palm was sweating. Mine turned red from how tight he was gripping it.
He looked like he wanted to evaporate. But finally, in his soft, stuttering voice, he said, “Sorry, ma’am. We’re here to pay.”
Ms. Foster blinked like he’d spoken in tongues. “What?”
I cracked up so hard I nearly passed out.
I always paid her via Venmo. We had a whole system. I even covered Finn’s absence with our homeroom teacher.
But Finn? Sweet gullible baby. He believed everything I said.
He looked a little pissed now, lips pressed tight. Then, without a word, he turned and walked off.
I chased after him, babbling nonstop. “C’mon, I was just trying to make you talk more! Your voice is so good, Finn. Like, disturbingly good. Like ‘read me bedtime stories forever’ good.”
He didn’t answer.
“Say it with me,” I poked him. “Riley is beautiful. I like Riley.”
His ears turned red. He stopped walking so suddenly I smacked right into his back.
He turned. Three words: “Shameless as hell.”
I snorted. “God, you sound sexy when you insult me.”
He glared but didn’t say more. Just kept walking like I was some demon he’d accidentally summoned.
Later that night, Bella sent me a $1,500 tip with a message: “He asked why Dad’s shoes smell like roadkill. You’re a miracle.”
I rolled on my bed laughing.
I texted Finn, but right then Jason called. Again.
Decline.
He started using his mom’s phone to call after I blocked him. Because we’re neighbors and apparently that gives him stalking rights.
His mom and mine were tight. I couldn’t bring myself to block her too.
I scrolled through our message history. It was me—pages of texts, memes, thirst traps. Him? “k.” “yeah.” “lol.”
And suddenly, a message from Finn popped up.
I expected a “whatever” or nothing at all, but ever since we swapped numbers, he replied to every single text.
Even started using my emojis. Until I sent him a dirty meme and he stopped. Prude.
Still, he was adorable. Online? Total chatty Cathy.
Next morning, I beamed at him. “Good morning, Finn!”
He glanced up at me, deadpan.
Okay, grumpy again.
Then I saw the breakfast sitting on my desk.
“Did you bring this for me?”
He nodded. Then shook his head. “Bella did.”
Minimalist king.
“Well, thank her for me. These dumplings are impossible to get.”
As I stuffed my face, Finn silently offered me napkins like the neat freak he was.
Then Jason stormed up, angry and loud.
“You’re seriously ignoring me now? Phone calls, texts, nothing? You’re hiding like a damn rabbit.”
I didn’t even flinch. “If you know I’m avoiding you, why the hell are you here?”
His chest heaved. “You don’t seriously think that rich freak is into you, do you?”
I stopped chewing. Finn’s hand froze mid-napkin.
He looked up—sharp and cold.
I slammed my hand on the desk. “Jason, we’re still in high school. Your brain is so full of horny garbage it’s leaking out your mouth.”
He opened his mouth.
I cut him off. “What, you dating someone now? Is that why you’re suddenly projecting like a theater kid?”
His face turned red. “Riley, I’m saying this because I care! Finn’s rich. He can have any girl he wants—”
“Jason Young, get to the office. Now.”
Our teacher’s voice cut through the room like a blade.
I burst out laughing.
But when I turned, Finn was staring at me, eyes dark and unreadable.
I didn’t even get a word out before he turned away.
Here we go. Grumpy Princess activated.
“You don’t need help, huh? Fine. I do. Can I copy your homework, please?”
No response.
“Also, that weird-ass video you sent me yesterday? I lost it. Send it again?”
Still nothing.
I sighed and slumped onto my desk.
Two minutes later, my phone buzzed.
A payment. From Finn.
Note: Keep helping me. I have money. Don’t talk to him. I hate him.
Straightforward, salty, and rich.
I clutched my chest. This boy was killing me.
Bella said her parents wanted to thank me over dinner. Finn was talking more, even cracking jokes at home.
I waved it off. “It’s nothing.”
But inside? I was melting.
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