Getting used to the movements was an ordeal, especially since I was taller than Agawa.
Some toes were pinched, and some apologies were made. But over time, our acclimation to each other grew. Our synergy improved so much our bodies seemed to move under a single mind.
"Wow, we might actually be getting the hang of this," I said with slight excitement.
"Yeah, I guess dancing can be pretty fun! Though," Agawa panted heavily, "it's pretty exhausting."
After she mentioned it, ripples of fatigue also started to grow within me. "If you'd like," I slowed our waltz, "we can take a break."
She looked at me as if I were demented. "Of course not! Everyone knows you shouldn't stop when you're in the zone!" She tightened her grip so I couldn't let go.
Her speaking of "the zone" reminded me of the tracksuit she wore.
Appraising her, I noticed her body was more toned than your average person's. Basketball? Volleyball? Her hair was too long to be a swimmer, so that was out.
She interrupted my thoughts. "You've been staring at me for a while. It's kind of creepy… Did you need something?"
I was shocked that I'd just been called "creepy," but I was too curious to dwell on that for too long.
"I was curious if you were in a sport of some kind. You seem more athletic than your average person."
She flared up with pride. "Yeah, I'm the captain of," she choked, "was…captain of the Track and Field club."
Her reaction wasn't surprising in the least. Given the "new world" thing, which was becoming increasingly less arguable every second, she might never see her old life again.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. I mean, I did, but not in that way…." I cursed my own insensitivities.
She shook her head and gave a sad smile. "No, it's alright." She sighed. "I still can't bring myself to believe our situation right now.
I nodded. "It's difficult to believe, to say the least."
"Yeah…" She cast her gaze towards the ground. "Hey, Sato? Do you think we'll ever go back home? I mean, even if this isn't some alternate world, we're obviously not in Japan anymore. So…do you think we'll ever see our families again?"
It was a difficult question. The kind with an easy answer. The kind of answer that would ease her unease. The kind of answer that any decent human being would give to someone who was hurting, but…I couldn't do that. I couldn't dole out false hope; it would have been too irresponsible.
pαпdα-ňᴏνê|·сóМ "If I'm being honest, Agawa, I can't be sure. Even with all the sights and experiences I've lived through, I've never been through anything like this. I'm sorry."
"It's alright," she consoled, "I wasn't expecting you to know, anyway."
For a while, we just waltzed to the tune of the music and to each other's heartbeat.
Hers was rapid from exhaustion, and still, she maintained our pace. I, too, was beyond exhausted, but that subsided to a feeling of warmth within my chest.
It was terrible. It took every bit of willpower I could muster to prevent my body from getting carried away and grinning beyond its capacity. I was feeling joy!
It had been a long time since I did anything physical without the purpose of combat.
I was still terrible at it, obviously, but the act of dancing was a fantastic experience. Maybe it was because I knew I was nurturing a skill meant to unify two people rather than blow them apart.
"Could I ask another question?" Agawa asked, breaking the rhythm. She looked up at me, her expressions cycling between anxiety and curiosity.
"Of course," I responded.
She visibly hesitated, avoiding my gaze. "Um, could I ask why you became a soldier?"
My grip and expression loosened in shock. I wasn't expecting a question like that, not by a long shot. Though I stared in her direction, what I'd been looking at was far beyond reality.
Hearing her question sent my consciousness backward while I relived my past life. I relived the days when I still held naive ideals about what it meant to be a soldier.
I must've taken too long to answer due to my reflections since she became frantic to apologize.
"I'm sorry!" She released her hands and bowed. "I shouldn't have asked something so personal, please forg-"
"It's alright," I interrupted, "I'll tell you." I didn't like talking about this stuff, but I owed her a lot. Setting aside my insensitivity about the club, she'd always been there as support.
From the time she eased my anguish within the carriage to when she cured my isolation of skepticism by sharing it. Even now, she prevented me from retreating to a dark corner and gave me such an enjoyable experience.
We once again locked hands, resuming our rhythmic movements. Her large, golden eyes drilled directly into mine, sparkling with fascination.
Using the music as a launching pad, I ejected any hesitation from my body.
I angled my gaze toward the crystalline chandelier above us. The prisms of reflective glass reminded me of the night it truly started. The night I'd decided to put an end to my humanity.
"It happened when I had just graduated high school," I reminisced, "back then, I was just a naive brat with a dream. A dream that I'd save people and be the one that brought hope back from the brink of despair. If I'm being honest," I laughed bashfully, "it's probably the result of some cartoon I watched at some point when I was younger."
I checked to see if I'd lost her interest, but I shouldn't have doubted her. Her eyes were locked on me as if guided by a laser pointer.
"It seemed like it'd be so easy," I continued, "I just needed to be stronger, faster, and smarter than my opponents. With those boxes checked, I could save anyone that I wanted. At least...that's what I thought."
Agawa nudged me, asking for permission to speak, to which I nodded in agreement.
"You say you wanted to be a savior, right?" She tilted her head quizzically. "If that's the case, why didn't you become a police officer or doctor?"
Two seconds into my story, she had already figured out the dreams of my adolescent self.
"You aren't far off, "I chuckled, "during high school and before, I always planned on joining law enforcement or, at most, the JSDF. But a few weeks before my graduation, it happened: the event that toppled all of 'civilized' society into total war. The reason why Japan reformed its military in the first place. The reason why humankind lost its humanity."
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