Eli stumbled to the door, fumbling his glasses onto his nose.

He hissed as his thigh hit the corner of a table.

Of course he'd forgotten the layout of his own apartment, he silently complained resentfully.

It had been eight years.

But knowing that that didn't help him reach whoever was making such a clamor in front of his apartment without giving himself injuries. Damned half-blind eyes!

Who was making that racket when people were sleeping, by gods? He irritatedly slapped the panel that cleared the generally opaque viewing window on the door.

Batard, see if I don't sic an exploding hedgehog in your general direction!

The visitor's face filled the space, annoyingly all but pressing his nose into the one-way glass. Large sea-green eyes were magnified by the viewing window, as was the pale tan and short brown hair.

It was Zee.

Eli glanced at the clock. It said it was three in the afternoon, September 29. There was an expectation of light rain in the evening.

Did he sleep away last night and most of the day?

He disengaged security and pulled open the door. "I wondered who'd forgotten that these things have doorbells and was banging like a monkey on the walls. It turns out it's just you."

Zee blinked at him. "You don't have a doorbell."

He didn't have a doorbell?

Eli bought this apartment. He'd made sure there was a doorbell!

He stepped out of the apartment and inspected the door panel. There was a piece of tape over a button and a scrawl that was not his handwriting that said 'Out of Order'.

Huh. "I don't have a doorbell."

Zee studied him, frowning slightly. "You forgot?"

Eli tensed a bit, remembering that this time nine years ago, he was the gloomy, silent spectre who lurked in the darkest corner of every gathering. And Zee could be incredibly perceptive at times.

"I'm sick," he reasoned, leaning against the doorway and crossing his arms.

Zee still looked worried, but smiled sheepishly. "You look terrible."

"And yet, I'm still more handsome than you."

The person behind Zee snickered. "Dream on, loser."

Eli peered at the second visitor blankly for a moment. Dark auburn hair, vampire pale skin, and eyes that were a darker brown than his own.

Her lips curled half-mockingly as he studied her. Oh. He recognized her belatedly.

This was Marai, whose family lived on the same floor as Zee's family.

Her parents had been fast friends with Eli's mother until the end.

Their children, on the other hand, were not.

"Ah," Eli said. "You."

Her brows furrowed. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

She'd never liked him. He'd never liked her.

She had cause, honestly.

Eli didn't think he liked what his former personality had been as well. As for Eli, he didn't like her because she was always dragging him to places he'd rather not be in – which only added to the gloomy lurking reputation.

With eight years of perspective, Eli knew it was her way of getting him to shake off the depression.

That didn't mean he would let her off, the pushy woman.

He turned to Zee and tonelessly asked. "Coming down here with a thug in tow, is this where you tell me the syndicate is unhappy and has rescinded the offer I can't refuse?"

"Pfft!" Zee coughed.

"What did you say?!" Marai started slapping both their shoulders, as Zee tried to stifle his laughter (mostly unsuccessfully) and redirect all her hits toward Eli (mostly successfully). Bastard.

"Ow. Ow, hey, hey!" Eli backed into his apartment, using his arm as a shield. "That hurts you know?"

She stopped immediately, setting the offending hand on her hip as she studied him sharply. "You're really sick?"

"No," he said, resentfully rubbing his trusty shield arm. "I just said so to get out of an interview."

"That's what I thought," she said, bluntly. "You get nervous about the strangest things."

Ouch. He had a reputation as a weirdo at this point in his life, didn't he?

"I was joking," he said flatly.

"You do really look sick," Zee chimed in as he followed them in and closed the door.

"You thought the same?!" Eli whirled to him, betrayed, then noticed the box he held in his hand. "Wait, how did you evade the slapping demon with a handicap?!"

Zee smiled brightly. "I learned one-armed aikido from a secret master down at the docks."

Marai snorted. "You can't even handle the rats at the docks, you ran away from a fish once."

Eli had honestly forgotten that Zee was like this; a strange mixture of sass and shyness. "Let me guess, the secret master had only one arm?"

"Of course. How else could one-armed aikido be taught?"

"Are you sure you didn't just get drunk at one of your crazy cafe jobs and lose a fight with a slot machine?"

Marai snickered as she started helping Eli set out plates.

Eli tried not to react in surprise. He remembered Marai as antagonistic more often than not. This wasn't something she would do, right?

Not the Marai that Eli remembered, at least.

Which led to a question: could he trust his memories of the people here?

A moment of thought, and he shrugged.

He'd treat them as they treated him. He watched, a growing fondness at the nostalgic familiarity of them taking root in his chest.

Zee placed a hand on his chest, looking gravely offended. "Novelty cafés are a historical tradition, which are used to preserve cultural snapshots of our ancestors' lives that might have been otherwise tragically lost to the river of time."

"He likes those jobs the best because he gets showered with tips just for his pretty face," Marai needled. She boosted herself on one of the kitchen stools, crossed her legs and leaned against the counter.

Eli laughed lightly as Zee glared at them both, placing the box he was holding on the island counter that separated the kitchen space from the living room area.

"Is that cake?"

"You asked for it, you got it." Zee glanced at him briefly, then looked away.

The guy, really. Won one of the most coveted spots in one of the most coveted companies in the city, and was worried about Eli taking offense?

…actually, that was just what happened the last time.

He'd really been an idiot.

Eli smiled softly, sitting down at the counter. "Congratulations. When do you start work?"

Zee quickly took the stool between them, his expression brighter. "Monday. But one of the guys there said I could go on Friday and Saturday to follow him around and get a feel for the place."

"He means he shamelessly suckered one of the executives there to let him tag along on official company business," Marai interjected.

"Good work," Eli said sincerely. "If you're not cheating, you're not doing your best."

Zee sputtered. "It's not cheating!"

"It's one of the best work cultures in the city, according to the news," Mara shrugged casually, a sly smile briefly on her face. "They probably take all the cheating high-initiative brazen-faced overachievers into stride."

Eli cut the cake, hiding his grin.

"That's a compliment." Zee said it suspiciously, looking for the catch.

"If you choose to take it as such," was the faux-snooty answer.

Eli slid plates filled with large slices of rum fruitcake with custard layers to the others and, before they devolved into more bickering, ordered them to eat with one word.

"Cake."

"Cake," they agreed, and stuck their forks into the decadent dessert.

Softly moist, intoxicating, fruity and not too sweet. The taste brought back memories that Eli savored.

They'd moved to this apartment five years ago, him and his mother, just after Eli had acquired his first bonus from the company.

His mother had been one of the only parents in the building who didn't commute to work and so was, to her happiness, the go to babysitter for the half-dozen or so children under the age of thirteen in the building, several of which were from Marai and Zee's families.

About the time Eli came home, Marai and Zee would be there to pick up various small relatives and on particular days, like if his mother caught wind of something to be celebrated, the three of them would sit like this eating his mother's rum torte while an assortment of brats lounged about the living room.

Come to think of it, Zee was probably surprised Eli asked for cake with fruit and rum.

He hadn't eaten it in two years, at this point. Nine years by his perspective. Oh, the dwarvir had rum syrup muffins, bigger than a fist, but it just wasn't the same.

Eli took another bite, and felt his cares wash away.

He had healed from his deep depression because being mentally impaired was not conducive to survival on Zushkenar. It said bad things about him, probably, that it took an apocalypse and nearly two years of slavery in another world to get him to become better.

He'd been lower than rock bottom.

Literally, too. There were some forced mining and sewer quests that…

Well, he was definitely not the same Eli as the Eli of this time.

Zee and Marai would only think that he had an epiphany and was slowly healing from losing his mother and his job, hopefully.

The news report turned on, the crystal glass partition becoming opaque as the scheduled program started up. Eli's hand twitched and he paused as business and financial news droned on.

He breathed deeply. Instincts weren't easily left behind.

He'd almost tried to draw a sword.

The depression was gone and he was mentally healthier in that regard, but there was no denying he was messed up in different ways after the last eight years.

He laughed at himself bitterly in his head.

"I can't believe you find this interesting," Zee snorted as he eyed the presenter on the screen talk about the popularity of the ECRU as the leading reserve currency of the year.

ECRU was short for 'economic currency unit' and was used as the standard exchange value between Earth and the space colonies.

"You should listen to the space economics news now." Eli said, raising his brows. "You can use the info as icebreakers at HI if nothing else."

"Really? Cliché."

"That's the point." But he obligingly changed the channel. A disaster relief documentation came on, and he changed it immediately. A Redlands promotion flashed into view and Eli paused.

He was about to change it, when Zee spoke.

"You know, Enzo somehow got me and Cenree a spot in a limited beta for the game last year? It was amazing. So amazing. The professors at school let us experience Halfworld every now and then, you know? And Redlands was so much better with rendering color and sensation. It was great. Their AI must be complicated, but I haven't managed to hear even a little about the codes. I mean," Zee waved his hands. "they're proprietary, I know, but there's so little news other than to say they're some of the most powerful AI created!"

Eli expected the bright-eyed gushing about something tech related, but not the sullen pout of a kid denied dessert. He chuckled. "RSI is one of the most advanced AI creators in the world."

Zee nodded, resigned. "I wanted to apply there too, but the benefits package HI offered was better. For me at least."

The benefits package offered by HI was incredible. And they rarely did open applications, preferring to headhunt from colleges and other businesses, so when the opportunity was offered, thousands jumped at the chance.

"So, not just hype, all the Redlands promotions plastered over the city?" Marai asked, interested.

Eli was fairly sure Marai joined the game at some point. Zee did too. In fact, the neuro-virtual headgear Eli used to first access Redlands was given to him by Zee.

He listened to them talk quietly.

Does this mean they'd been in Zushkenar as well? He didn't know their player names, and never met anyone who looked like them. But he knew that one year from now, Redlands was so popular there weren't just 115 million players. It was over 1 billion, in fact.

So why were only 115 million players transmigrated to Zushkenar?

One fact that most transmigrated players knew though: they all died within the first week of the Quake.

So was that the limitation? The missing players were left behind?

Or was this just leaping to conclusions?

He had insufficient data.

He didn't know how long the Quake went on, after all. But as someone who had personally seen his home city break apart and fall into an abyss, Eli knew the answer would be 'not long at all'.

He cut another slice of cake, listened to the others talk, and tried not to think about it.

"Wait," Marai interrupted something Zee was saying. "You already have an account?"

"RSI gave us a headgear set when the contract terminated. The processor on it isn't as powerful when not supported by the bio-cradle, but it's still incredible." Zee's eyes were bright as he waved his fork around. "There are a few things I want to try to get some more oomph on the headgear processor but opening up the frame voids the warranty and a few other safeties I'd rather not do without so...it's disappointing, really."

The people in this building weren't rich, just common workers; the apartment was relatively cheap because it was built near the slums.

Virtual reality tech was common in this era, but it was still a luxury. Buying two neuro-virtual headgear sets just to take them apart? That was extravagance.

"Shortsighted of them," Eli said gravely. "To not consider the insane and rabid techheads in this world."

"The rabidly insane who have coupons for the Redlands website," Zee countered.

"I'll have to check with Tal," Marai said immediately. "But reserve two for me."

Eli was…conflicted.

Did he really want that again?

Wasn't he tired? He'd died twice already, and twice woke up from death to see himself in another world.

But then, if he did nothing, his third death was certain.

Did he want it to be his last death?

Without Redlands, the chance of living past the Quake was so slim it was gossamer thread in the path of a flood.

If he played Redlands and things happened as before, then his survival was so close to a guaranteed success that it was all but gifted to him.

Eli wanted to laugh. The gods were playing with him, surely.

"Hey Zee, if you're chronically sick and someone said that one month from now you'll die, would you be happy or sad?"

The other two stared at him. "Eli…?"

He quickly determined their thoughts. "No, I'm not dying. Why would you think that, did you two eat a bad mushroom this morning?"

Marai huffed. "I don't like mushrooms. And if someone like you was suddenly so weirdly talkative after being sick and looking like they cried their eyes out over their tragic romantic lives, then suddenly asks that question out of nowhere, it's a logical inference okay?!"

"I didn't cry!"

Also, he'd never had a romance, in both his former lives. That was kind of pathetic of him, actually.

"That's what you focus on? Are you a child?"

"I'm –" …thirty five years old, was what he was going to say. He quickly changed it. "always young at heart!"

"Childish, you mean."

"At least I'll never pretend like I'm older than my age." He'd always be truthfully older than his physical age now.

"My boyfriend," she narrowed her eyes warningly, "has something called sophisticated maturity."

"It's called 'I had a crush on my grandma that never went away and I'm acting like my grandpa so I can have someone like her' syndrome!"

"You take that back!"

"I think I'll be sad." Zee said contemplatively, out of nowhere, fingers playing idly with his water glass.

"Huh?" "What?"

"I'll be sad," he repeated. "A chronic sickness? After fighting so long, they say I'll die? I won't be resolved to that."

Eli knew it was a bad idea, but still asked. "And if there was actually an afterlife waiting for you? Not heaven, not hell, but just life?"

"Oh, uh…" Zee waved his arms silently, thinking. "Are you…are you asking if I want to live forever?"

Marai sighed. "Do you?"

"I don't." Zee shook his head. "But as long as I'm not glutted on the experience of living, then I think a life after death would be great."

Eli exhaled a laugh. "As long as you're not glutted on the experience of living, was it?"

Of course Zee would say the right words. That was it, exactly.

He could always die. After all, everything died. But to do nothing when there was one certain way out of death, just because he was a bit tired?

That was just massively stupid. He had survived the Quake that destroyed Earth, he had survived over seven years in wartorn Zushkenar.

Those experiences that created Eli and Scare, that led to the current him, was he willing to toss them away?

There was much yet that he hadn't seen. He might have died twice, but he hadn't lived the fullness of a single human lifespan. Even if he experienced a lot in a short time, wasn't there still something new to see? Wait until he had a hundred years under his belt, then talk about being tired of life.

"Eli?" Marai was watching him, eyes sharp.

Oh, he just recalled, she had an aunt that committed suicide some years ago. Eli rubbed his eyes, feeling them sting. "You're right."

No, he definitely didn't want to die yet.

"Of course I am," Zee smiled smugly, but Eli saw the flash of hidden concern. "Now what was the question for?"

"Something I was confused about, from the news," he said gruffly.. "Since you answered, then I'll reward you by taking that coupon."

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